Joanna Gaines Admits Fears Over How She’ll Stay Close to Eldest Kids While They’re in College: ‘I’ve Found Myself Without the Right Answers’

HGTV star Joanna Gaines has candidly opened up about her struggle to navigate the latest “chapter” of her role as a mother—voicing her fears about how she will maintain a close bond with her two eldest children while they are away at college.

The mother of five, whose eldest daughter, Ella, 18, recently moved out of the family’s farmhouse in Waco, TX, to start her freshman year, revealed the evolution of her parenting journey now that two of her children are no longer living at home.

“Being in close proximity to my kids is the only way I’ve known to parent,” Gaines, 47, wrote in the latest issue of the Magnolia Journal.

“My confidence as a mom is deeply intertwined with physical presence. I know how to read their faces. I know what foods heal wounds. I know how to stay up late. To be here when they need me.”

After finally finding her footing as a parent, Gaines admitted that her confidence was shaken after she bid farewell to son Drake, 20, who is in his third year at Baylor University, and Ella, who has traveled “across the country” to attend an unnamed college.

“I’ve had to refine how to show up for each of them, all being so different, but almost 20 years in, I started to feel like I finally had the hang of it … until a couple of years ago, when my oldest headed off to college,” she went on.

Gaines explained in her “Note From Jo” that a big part of her confidence as a parent was rooted in her ability to keep a close personal eye on her kids. Being able to check in on them, even secretly, helped to quell any concerns she might have.

“Like every mother reading this, I’ve always slept better knowing that all of my kids are safe and sound. When I can go room by room and count heads, listen for shallow breaths, sneak in kisses on cool cheeks as silently as I can,” she shared.

“For all the worry that seeps into the cracks of daily life, I’ve wondered how much is squelched by evidence of rising chests and peace-filled sleep. Of reaching out and finding them there.”

The renovations expert admitted that she has found herself “without the right answers” for how to quell her parenting concerns—while asking other parents who have “walked this path and hold the secrets to success” to share tips for how she might navigate this unknown territory.

Until those answers present themselves, Gaines said that she plans to “experiment” with different ways of preserving her special relationship with each of her two oldest children, whether that involves sending care packages or surprising them with a visit.

“The best advice I’m offering myself this season is to be there for them the same way I always have: surely and steadily,” she wrote.

“For Drake and Ella, it might look like experimenting: care packages with their favorite cookies and surprise visits for an afternoon coffee. But it will also look the same way it always has: a listening ear, texts that let them know I’m here.

“Because the hope, I think, is that my children will know—no matter how far or near they are—that proximity isn’t what truly connects us.”

Gaines’ candid parenting confession comes just a few days after she revealed on Instagram that she had packed both of her children off to school—explaining in a heartfelt post that she was overcome with different emotions in the moment.

Sharing a photo of her eldest son’s room filled with boxes and suitcases, Gaines examined the many feelings that she was grappling with after Drake and Ella left the nest.

“They told me it would go by quicker than I think. That the days are slow but the years are fast. And darn it if they were right. This beautiful gift of time has roared past us all just like I was told,” she wrote.

“My oldest son left for his third year of college while my oldest daughter packs for her first year across the country.

“This season already feels like one big, breathless surrender. Lord, how do I hold them close while also letting go?”

Gaines went on to note that, while she feels a strong desire to keep her kids with her, she knows that they are “made for more” than they can experience inside the family’s home.

“Help me to embrace change with a heart filled with hope for the part I know to be truer than the rest—my kids and I may have been made for each other, but I also believe they were made for more. More experiences, more knowledge, more growing than could ever happen within our walls,” she added.

The mother of five concluded her post with a message to other parents who have yet to experience what it’s like to have a child leave home.

“To all the parents packing up and moving kids to new places, and to all those with years still to spare: hold them close, hold them well, and let’s all lean on each other when the time comes to hold it together,” she said.

The night before the big farewell, Gaines revealed that the family was sharing one last meal together, posting a video of the fun-filled dinner at their farmhouse.

In the clip, the family of seven could be seen turning out some homemade pizzas in the wood-burning oven in their backyard, before heading into their immaculately decorated dining room to tuck into the feast.

After the meal, Gaines pulled all five of her kids in for a group hug outside their home—before treating herself to a ride on her youngest son’s mini motorbike, joking in the caption that it made her “feel like a kid again.”

“Gulp. Last dinner together before our oldest heads back to college and our second is about to leave home for her freshman year,” the Magnolia mogul wrote.

“Thankful for the group hug and all the puppies to help me work through my wide range of emotions. And also Crew‘s motor bike, it made me feel like a kid again. I love you kids so much.”

The Magnolia Journal Fall 2025 Issue hits newsstands on Friday, Aug. 15, and can be purchased online now at Magazines.com.