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In real estate, it’s often assumed that the highest offer wins. But for many sellers, the decision to part with a home isn’t just business—it’s also personal. And for buyers who know how to read between the lines, that emotional undercurrent can offer a surprising edge.
New research published in the journal Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes confirms what many real estate agents have long observed: Sellers often care just as much about who buys their home as what they’re offering.
“Storytelling is everything in real estate,” explains Carla Gericke, a real estate agent with Porcupine Real Estate in New Hampshire. “You’re not just selling square footage—you’re selling memory, meaning, and, of course, the future.”
Buyers who recognize and speak to that emotional connection can influence negotiations—and sometimes win the deal even with a lower offer.
“Every house has a story,” Gericke adds. ”In negotiations, these stories create connections. They soften edges. They build trust. … That’s where deals get done. Not solely in the decimal points, but in the shared dream of homeownership.”
The science behind sentimentality
In a recent series of studies, researchers Alice Lee and Daniel Ames explored how sentiment shapes the sales process. Across four experiments, they found that emotionally attached sellers don’t just want to sell—they also want to sell to the right person.
This showed up in a few different ways. For one, attached sellers were more selective. When presented with offers, they showed a clear preference for buyers who signaled they would care for the item (be it a guitar or a home)—these “caretaker buyers.” Their offers didn’t need to be the highest, either. In some cases, lower offers with emotional resonance won out.
The effect went beyond pricing. In an email experiment, sellers were 50% more likely to open a note with a heartfelt subject line, and were twice as likely to open these messages first.
This dynamic plays out in the real world, too.
“I have seen, on multiple occasions, a seller walk away from a buyer, even if they offered a higher price because they didn’t feel they were a good fit for their home,” says Yancy Forsyth, owner of Missouri Valley Homes.
How to tell if a seller is emotionally attached
Emotionally attached sellers tend to reveal themselves. If the listing reads less like a real estate brochure and more like a personal letter, that’s a strong clue.
How long someone has owned a home can be an equally powerful signal. Roughly 2 in 3 homeowners aged 55 and up say they’re emotionally attached to their homes, according to Opendoor’s 2024 Emotions in Real Estate Report.
More than half of these homeowners have lived in their homes for 15 years or longer, according to the report—and that time has consequences. Nearly a third say that letting go of a home is one of the hardest parts of selling, while 22% say emotional ties actively influence their decision-making.
Of course, not every seller is sentimental. A stark, detail-light listing with freshly flipped finishes and little personal context might point to an investor or a seller motivated purely by financial gain. That’s not a bad thing; it just means the negotiation will likely be more transactional.
How buyers can use this to their advantage
If you can recognize when a seller is sentimental, you might be able to tap into something far more persuasive than price: personal connection.
That’s where the buyer letter comes in.
“In a bidding war, a well-written letter is often the emotional tiebreaker,” says Jacob Naig, a real estate investor and agent at We Buy Houses Des Moines. “But the key is authenticity. You can smell generic flattery a mile off if you’re a seller. The strongest letters are specific, respectful, and focused on continuity.”
Mention your future plans, your family or pets, and what kind of life you hope to build there. Keep it personal and sincere. You don’t need to be poetic or polished—honest emotion is often more powerful than perfect prose.
“I had a first-time buyer win a [seven-]offer situation recently by sending a simple but heartfelt letter to a widow selling her longtime home,” says Naig. The buyers’ letter spoke of their newborn baby and a future filled with milestones in the very rooms where she once raised her own children. It moved her enough to choose them over an $8,000-higher bid.
Of course, this strategy isn’t for every situation. If the home is a recent flip, an investment property, or the seller seems purely focused on the bottom line, a letter might not help—and could even hurt your chances by coming off as naive or off-topic.
But when the signs of sentiment are there, taking the time to connect can tip the scales in your favor, especially in a competitive market where numbers alone don’t always win.
Tips for sellers (and their agents), too
For sellers, emotional attachment to a home isn’t something to be ashamed of. Acknowledging it can even help you navigate the process with more clarity and peace.
If you’ve lived in your home for years, raised a family there, or poured your energy into making it yours, it’s only natural to feel a tug when it’s time to let go. But that tug doesn’t have to derail the sale.
Work with your agent to set clear, rational goals upfront. Define what success looks like: Is it top dollar? A quick close? Or the comfort of knowing the next owners will love the home as much as you did?
In some cases, that might mean choosing an offer that isn’t the highest on paper but feels right. Maybe it’s the young couple who remind you of yourself decades ago. Maybe it’s the buyer who noticed the lemon tree in the yard or wrote about how their dog would love the back deck.
Emotion can be a compass for both buyers and sellers. In a market where dozens of offers might look identical on paper, the human element—the story, the sincerity, the connection—can be what sets one apart.