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Touring a home, picturing yourself in the space, and asking questions openly is a normal part of the homebuying experience. But lately, that process is starting to seem a bit more cramped—thanks to a rising trend of sellers staying put during buyer tours and even open houses.
This practice used to be relatively uncommon and often discouraged by real estate agents. But now, more sellers are choosing to stick around.
The reasons vary, but experts still agree it’s a bad idea—and are now offering buyers advice on what they should do when they find themselves being watched by the very people who live in the dream home they’re thinking of buying.
Why sellers are staying home during showings
Sellers being home during a showing can happen for a multitude of reasons, all understandable, but awkward.
“I’ve noticed a growing number of sellers being present during showings,” says Denise Supplee, a real estate agent with Long and Foster in Doylestown, PA. “I’ve encountered situations where the sellers overbearingly followed us through the home, offering explanations and pointing out features. I suspect this may be tied to the current unpredictability of the real estate market. Perhaps sellers feel their involvement can help move things along.”
Remote work is perhaps one of the more reasonable explanations for why sellers are home during showings, but they also tend to stick around when they have a high emotional attachment to the property—or a heightened concern for their belongings.
“It’s usually about control,” says Jeff Lichtenstein, CEO and broker at Echo Fine Properties in Palm Beach, FL. “Some sellers just can’t help themselves.”
“I have noticed more sellers in the higher price ranges sticking around, especially in slower markets,” says Andrew Fortune, real estate agent and brokerage owner at Great Colorado Homes. “It seems like retired folks are the worst about it, and it’s very awkward when it happens.”
How awkward it can get depends on how the seller acts while the potential buyer is in the home. On Reddit, a recent buyer explained that the feeling of being watched during the showing was a deterrent.
“As a buyer, having the owner present for a viewing is a red flag—especially if they hover or try to talk to me as the buyer when I’m looking at the property,” wrote one user.
And then there are those who won’t be deterred from their daily routines.
“Just this past weekend, my seller showed up to his house during an open house to do laundry,” Andrea Viscuso of the Forte Team at Compass in Fairfield, CT, shared.
How much does it actually matter?
For buyers, having a seller at a home tour or open house can be uncomfortable and discouraging, since it’s harder to voice critiques or ask questions.
Prospective buyers might feel the need to rush through the tour, or feel like they need to be on their best behavior, according to Fortune.
“Many buyers will want to move on to the next house, especially in today’s market where they have lots of other homes to choose from,” he adds.
A seller’s presence could also affect a buyer’s ability to judge the home’s condition, or imagine themselves living there.
“In most cases, I believe it’s best for sellers to be absent during showings,” says Supplee. “It allows buyers the freedom to explore, react honestly, and truly envision themselves in the space without feeling watched or pressured.”
Sellers who stick around might believe they’re being helpful, but it may seem more like they’re hovering.
“I always say a home showing is a buyer’s moment, not the seller’s,” says real estate agent Brett Johnson, owner of New Era Home Buyers. “When sellers stay, they come off as controlling or overly eager and can turn buyers off.”
Lichtenstein says that by being present, sellers might miss the opportunity to get candid feedback, because the buyer does not want to offend them.
And in some cases, a seller’s presence can deter serious offers.
“I showed a house where the seller stood on the porch, telling us about all the young kids who lived on the block,” says Cindy Allen, a buyer’s agent at DFWMoves.com. “As we drove away, the newly empty-nester buyers mentioned they were glad to ‘dodge a bullet’ of a neighborhood they now perceived as noisy and active on weekends and summer mornings. They wanted peace and quiet.”
How buyers can make the best of an awkward showing
For buyers who find themselves touring with the seller in the room, here are some tips for getting through it.
When it comes to expressing yourself, less is more. “Keep your cards close to the vest,” says Johnson. “Be polite, ask open-ended questions like ‘What do you enjoy most about living here?’ but don’t tip your hand too much.”
Treat the moment like an interview—because you’re being evaluated, too. “If you like the home, it doesn’t hurt to try to build some rapport with the seller and make a good impression should you decide to put in an offer,” says Cara Ameer, real estate broker at Coldwell Banker Vanguard Realty in Florida.
Follow up. “If you couldn’t be honest during the tour, follow up with your agent or send a message afterward to clarify your interest or ask anything you held back on,” says Johnson. “It’s not ideal, but it’s manageable if you play it smart.”