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On finance guru Dave Ramsey’s recent radio show, a Florida resident called in to ask if he should use his recently licensed mother-in-law as his real estate agent to sell his home.
Ramsey strongly advised against it, bluntly telling the caller, “You’re going to get screwed.”
Ramsey imparted his advice so the caller could hopefully avoid the emotional landmines, awkward power dynamics, and lack of accountability that can come with mixing family and real estate transactions.
However, many homebuyers rely on family members to act as their real estate agent for convenience or loyalty. This can be a risky move—personally and financially.
Pros and cons of hiring a family member as your real estate agent
“I’ve seen many deals between family members go bad,” says Andrew Fortune, real estate agent and brokerage owner at Great Colorado Homes. “I had a past client use me to buy their house, but decided to use their uncle to sell it later on. They argued over the price and repairs, and never fully reconciled their differences. The tension spilled into family gatherings for months, and hurt feelings stuck around long after the sale ended.”
Fortune says his former client vowed never to use a family member to buy or sell real estate again.
His situation highlights the cons of working with a family member who is an agent. There can be a lack of objectivity on both sides of the arrangement, as well as emotional bias that can cloud negotiations. As the client, you might find it difficult to push back when offered bad advice or offers you don’t agree with. Perhaps most importantly, there is a risk of permanently damaging the relationship if things go wrong.
That said, family deals can work in certain circumstances, according to Brett Johnson, owner of New Era Home Buyers in Englewood, CO.
“In those cases, the agent was already experienced and everyone agreed upfront to keep it professional. When expectations are clear and both sides understand this is a business transaction, it can go smoothly. But that only works if the agent is qualified and both parties are honest about what they want.”
Fortune has personally handled multiple deals with family members and has never had a problem.
“It really comes down to the family,” he says. “If a family has combative members, they are likely to end up at odds unless everything goes perfectly, which it rarely does.”
Fortune says just because someone has a real estate license doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the right fit for your specific needs.
“A license just means they passed a test,” he explains. “It does not mean they know your neighborhood or have strong negotiation skills.”
What Dave Ramsey recommends instead
Ramsey suggested that the caller let his mother-in-law co-list the property with a more experienced agent.
That way, she could help in a support role, while the more experienced agent could handle negotiations, paperwork, and pricing strategy.
This kind of hybrid solution may preserve the family relationship while still getting the benefit of an experienced and objective agent.
“Having a neutral professional on board takes the emotions out of the critical parts of the transaction and avoids the family blame game if something falls through,” says Johnson. “It’s a way of protecting the relationship while having some professional representation.”
Buyers can vet agents independently by asking about neighborhood expertise, recent transactions, and negotiation style.
“Ask agents how many homes they sold in your area last year,” advises Fortune. “Request details about their last few deals, and ask how they handle tough buyers or bidding wars. Call a past client to see if the agent delivered on promises.”
Compare agents to get the best deal
The best advice when it comes to deciding on a real estate agent is to do your homework. Comparing agents isn’t necessarily common practice, but it saves both time and money in the long run.
The Realtor.com® RealChoice agent comparison tool is a 100% free way to compare agents based on transaction history, experience, and customer reviews, with no strings attached.
You simply enter the address of the property you are selling, then share how soon you are looking to sell.
Next, you input what kind of home you’re selling and how much you think your home will sell for.
You will then receive a free home value analysis and three to five proposals from top local agents near you.
You’ll get matched only with vetted agents from our network.
In the end, buyers should be selecting agents the same way they’d choose any other contractor: based on skill and fit—not just family ties.
“You would not hire your cousin to fix your roof if they were not an experienced roofer,” says Fortune. “Real estate is too big a deal to risk on family feelings alone.”
Johnson agrees: “Blood ties don’t take the place of experience or good communication, especially when the outcome has financial implications for your future.”